Dating can be complicated. Adding an extra set of wheels takes it to a new level. The misabled live with this as another dimention in romantic life. We can either live in a fog of annoyance, or we we can have fun with it. I usually choose the latter.
To the average man, females might be seen as a conquest. To those of us from the portable persuasion, a woman is a political campaign. You must (1) pique her interest, (2) make a show of sincerity then (3) clarify your intentions. Following this, you need to (4) establish an agenda then (5) put your plan into action. If you actually get to that point, you have entered the mutual unknown of individual uniqueness.
1. Accidentally knocking someone down or into my lap has become an ice-breaker for me. When that isn’t possible, I’ve been known to comment on a woman’s shoes. In my world, textured sidewalks, unusual doorknobs, belt buckles, and shoes as easier to remember than hairstyles and faces. The shoe thing works for two reasons. The first being that a woman thinks of her shoes as an extension of her personality, and if a man notices them, that means he’s interested in something more valuable to her than her cup size. This also works because a man showing interest in a woman’s accessories just might be gay and no eminent threat at all. She can think of you like a friend and not realize you have designs.
2. To convince a woman of your sincerity, from the vantage of a wheelchair, is the easiest part of the equation. If you start a conversation with, “From my unique perspective,” and indicate the chair with a smile, you have her both off-guard and reacting somewhat sympathetically. If you can use your handicap to arouse maternal instincts in a woman, you are not looked at with suspicion, you are in need. To some women, The needy are irresistible. Phrases like, “That was so kind,” and “You’re such a sweetheart,” place you firmly into the genuine category.
3. It’s at this point that the somewhat humorous pick-up lines start. For a wheelchair user, there are several comments that will illicit a smile, but will also make your intentions clearer. Any line that uses the term four-wheel drive is worth trying. My favorite is to ask, “Ever heard of four-wheel drive?” and cock one eyebrow. This gets a raised eyebrow from her when she realizes that, even though you’re sincere, you’re still a guy. A comment that compares your stature sitting up to your stature lying down leaves no doubt of what you’re up to. Unless the woman is a physical therapist or a masseuse, there are very few reasons to say this. As well as these types of lines, if you take things a step further into the crude factor, or you’ve both been drinking, you might suggest needing help to break in your mew wheelchair.
4. Establishing an agenda is actually the most difficult part of the romance cycle, when it involves a misabled person. For us, nothing happens on the spur of a moment. We have both appointments and equipment. An AB (able bodied) can say, “Excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable.” Rather than this enticing interlude, we might say something like, “Ignore anything you hear; I’m just rearranging some durable medical equipment.”
5. By this point, Miss Right Now must have a pretty adventurous spirit to not become a face on a milk carton. If that is the case, invite her in. May I suggest that certain medical implements used in traction can double as a trapeze.
